Giftedness : The Emotional Gifted Child
Intense emotions are an often overlooked aspect of giftedness. The reality is that giftedness has both, an emotional as well as intellectual component. Intellectual complexity goes hand in hand with emotional depth. So gifted children not only think differently from other children they also feel differently. Therefore, emotional intensity can affect the way they experience the world.
How Is Emotional Intensity Expressed?
Emotional intensity is positively correlated with intelligence and so the higher the intellectual level, the more emotionally intense a gifted individual will be. Some research has pointed to an over active limbic system or hypersensitive nervous system. Emotional intensity is often expressed by the gifted as a heightened sense of compassion, empathy, responsibility, guilt, anxiety, injustice, perfectionism, sense of inadequacy, concerns with death, extreme moods, and scrupulous self-examination. They often experience intense inner conflict, self-criticism, anxiety and feelings of inferiority. These intense emotions may appear very early in gifted children, and ironically, are often mistaken for emotional immaturity rather than as evidence of a rich inner life.
How Can We Support And Nurture Our Emotionally Intense Gifted Children?
- Help them to use their intellect to develop their sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance
- Take time to listen to their ideas, opinions and feelings. Be non-judgmental: don’t interrupt, moralize, distract or give advice.
- Discuss feelings openly; the negative as well as the positive.
- Use an “emotional thermometer” to initiate discussions. For example, ask “on a scale from 1 to 10, how are you feeling today?”
- Appreciate their sensitivities, intensities and passions. Don’t try to minimize their emotions. Avoid saying things like “you’re too sensitive” or “snap out of it” or “it’ll be OK”.
- Reassure them when they are afraid and help them find ways of expressing their emotions though art, stories, poems, music, journaling or physical activities.
- Acknowledge their efforts by offering frequent verbal praise.
- Emphasize strengths and don’t focus on weaknesses.
- Honor emotions in both genders. Avoid downplaying emotions in males. Reassure them that sensitivity does not mean weakness.
- Offer age-appropriate responsibilities and avoid over protecting them from the world or from consequence to their actions.
- Find like-minded peers to avoid social isolation. Help them to find good role models.
- Seek professional counseling when needed.
- As parents we can help empower our emotionally intense gifted children to accept their rich inner world and value it as strength.
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