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A temper tantrum is an unplanned outburst of anger and frustration. Temper tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development and should decrease when the child starts school. The keys to handling a temper tantrum are to remain calm, ignore the tantrum, and teach your child how to handle frustration.
Although they are a normal part of the toddler repertoire, temper tantrums can be distressing to parents. When they occur infrequently, tantrums aren’t a big deal and are best ignored. It’s when they become regular or intense that parents need to look into what’s causing them and find ways to stop them.
A child throwing a tantrum may seem like he’s just trying to manipulate you. But the behavior is less voluntary than many parents realize, Dr. Dickstein notes. Kids with serious temper problems aren’t throwing tantrums on purpose. However, they may have learned, through reinforcement from adults, that tantrums get results.
If you give in to your child when he has tantrums—or throw one yourself in reaction to his outbursts—as he grows older and reaches adolescence, this will often turn into a chronic power struggle. Sadly, I’ve seen it many times in my practice. And temper tantrums in older children are no laughing matter. Your teenage son will become relentless; he won’t take “no” for an answer. Your tween daughter will wear you down and become an expert at manipulating you. Or your child might become aggressive and fight with you all the time. What these kids learn is that they can get things by intimidating other people. They will not have learned how to regulate themselves so therefore their behaviors will be very reactive and extreme. And believe me, these power struggles do become battles.
Make sure temper tantrums aren’t effective for your child. If he throws a fit in the store because he wants you to buy him a toy, don’t buy him one. Giving in might make things easier in the short-term because it will make the tantrum stop. In the long run, it will only reinforce to your child that tantrums are a good way to get what he wants.
The first step in diffusing a temper tantrum is to keep your own temper in check. You’re not going to get anywhere with your child if both of you are screaming at each other. Spanking your child is also not a good option, and it will only make the tantrum worse. Take a deep breath, gain control over your emotions, and then discipline your child by calmly but firmly letting him know that tantrums are not acceptable behavior.
Research, Reference & Attribution
Children’s Temper Tantrums Information | Cleveland Clinic. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/14406-temper-tantrums.
How To Deal with Child Temper Tantrums | Empowering Parents. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/dealing-with-child-temper-tantrums-from-toddler-to-pre-teen/.
Preventing Temper Tantrums in Children: Strategies & Tips for Parents. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/preventing-temper-tantrums-in-children.
What Is the Best Way to Deal With Temper Tantrums?. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-deal-with-temper-tantrums-1094862.
Why Do Kids Have Tantrums and Meltdowns? | Child Mind Institute. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://childmind.org/article/why-do-kids-have-tantrums-and-meltdowns/.
Why Does My Child Still Have Temper Tantrums? | Impulsivity in …. (1970). Retrieved on August 24, 2018, from https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/executive-functioning-issues/why-does-my-child-still-have-temper-tantrums.
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